Back from the Dead

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 30 November -0001 00:00

 

My lords, ladies and gentlemen.

OK so I have been avoiding writing this Elder movie blog.

Not much has been happening on the surface, but plenty beneath, like Stephen Hawking, or Loch Ness.

The last time we spoke, I had just finished (draft four - first public draft, of) our original screenplay and contacted KISS's manager Doc McGhee in order to hopefully fix up a meeting to pitch the film project to the band. Well, this hasn't happened yet. In fact KISS were so desperate to avoid having to speak to me they flew all the way to Australia to 'play some gigs' instead.

Initially my feelings were somewhat hurt by this brutal rejection. HELLO? AHEM?? DON'T YOU KNOW, I HAVE FINISHED WRITING MY THING NOW? AREN'T YOU GOING TO OPEN YOUR ELABORATE PATIO DOORS AND BEARHUG ME? Sadly the world does not work like this. Sadly the world does not give two hoots about one's valiant creative efforts. Instead one must crowbar oneself into every crevice and then TURN TO RUST, so they can't get rid of you without phosphoric acid or the threat of firearms.

This period of patience and head-scratching enabled me to realise that even if / when I get my meeting, the likelihood of millionaire rock stars subsequently dutifully sitting down and reading a 100-page screenplay was remote to say the least. What I needed, and LACKED, was a goddamn TREATMENT DOCUMENT. For all you peasants who don't know what this is, it's basically a sexing-up synopsis document which explains the idea, the themes and a breakdown of the story itself, as well as who we are exactly. So that perusal of such a critical document ought to provide the reader / mogul / blood-spitting demon in big silver dragon boots kinda guy with an overview of WHAT THIS PROJECT ACTUALLY IS, AND WHY, without having to wade through 100 pages of my original screenwriting genius. Don't forget that. (Please also do not forget that multiple-Oscar-winning 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid' was William Goldman's DEBUT original screenplay, a fact whose obvious parallel I need linger over no longer.)

The only, shall we say, issue, about this clearly essential treatment document, which is now done and has been sent off to our designer David Bailey to design (thank you David), is that writing it was officially the most boring and tedious creative thing I have ever done. EVER. And I once wrote an entire book about classical music. Writing this sodding treatment meant boiling down everything that happens in the film - every scene, important gesture, potent allusion, etc etc - down to a line, or half a line, or couple of words, which must then hang together in ITS OWN narrative context. My God it was deathly dull, ladies and gentlemen. And it took me WEEKS. That's right, ACTUAL WEEKS, just to end up with 6-7 pages of this general synopsis! In fact it could even have been months. I kind of kept putting it off, as it was so unrewarding, and hey, Doc still might just call at ANY MOMENT. What time is it in Brisbane anyway?

But now we something more palatable to put into his hands. And it provides a truly excellent overview of the film project, as well as telling the, ahem, dazzling story itself. The story of the Boy, Morpheus, the Order of the Rose, the Odyssey, Mr Blackwell, and so on and so forth. So now, as soon as I get it back from David, we will be AGGRESSIVELY pushing this treatment document to do two things. Here are the things.

1) Get us into a hugging situation with KISS management and possibly Tommy Thayer.

2) Get us a fucking producer.

This treatment is basically my homing pigeon, which I am about to send out into the big wide world, in my trusty old cloth cap. Because that's how my pigeon rolls. With a thump.

If you're interested in our treatment and would like me to email you over a copy, please get in touch, as this pigeon document is going to be doing some serious avian muscle work for us over the next few weeks and months.

Oh and I also worked through another (F I F T H) draft of the screenplay itself. I kind of did that as I was synopsising the thing; realising that, oh look, now I'm here I realise I don't really need that scene to be there after all, so...CUT!!! SNIP!! DELETE!!

So despite the lack of blogdates, we are still out there, putting in the hours. We're still making this god damn movie. More than ever, my friends, more than ever.

Next blog: hopefully something other than sitting in front of my computer.

Fly, little pigeon, fly!!

Fly on the wings of love.

Fly baby fly.

Reaching the stars above.

Touching the sky.

Maybe it is mine.

Fly on the wings of love.

Reaching the stars above.

Touching the sky.

The Olsen Brothers, 2000

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